Moving forward expiate your regrets
How to deal with the inevitability of life, regrets
So what?
As we discussed in our previous post, regrets are part of life. It’s impossible to live without regrets no matter how hard you try. That is the reality of life. By learning to live with regrets, you will:
- Admit to messing up;
- Not feel like a failure when you regret;
- Embrace regrets and not let yourself down; and
- Encourage your thoughts and be more present.
Acknowledgement
Regret itself is not as harmful as the feelings that come with regrets. What are the feelings you are feeling as you are regretful? You need to identify and acknowledge the feelings that are associated with your regret as this will prompt you to think about how to first deal with the regret. Are you angry and upset? Are you disappointed? Are you sad or anxious? There are countless resources available that will help you manage these unwanted emotions.
Acceptance
Once you have identified, acknowledged and addressed the feelings that are associated with your regret, your next step is to accept your regret which comes in two parts. Accepting that you are not perfect and everyone makes mistakes being one and accepting responsibility is the other. The first part of acceptance allows you to focus on what you can learn and do different in the future. The second part of acceptance launches you forward by empowering you to take the next step by boosting your confidence and not victimising yourself.
Aspiration
Acceptance is naturally is followed by aspiration. Let it happen. Let your regret become an aspiration that you will achieve. As we noted above, you will focus on what you can learn and do different once you have accepted you are not perfect. Use this focus to identify what you hope to achieve thereby developing your aspiration. Aspirations are key to your life and success as they give you the reason to live, to fight and to keep fighting.
My experience
Until not too long ago, I live with the mindset of “I’d rather regret doing something than not doing something”. It wasn’t until recently when our 7 year old daughter asked whether life has to have regrets that got me thinking as to why I ever began to have that mindset. Upon thinking, I realised that my mindset was flawed. To regret not doing something is to regret nothing. And it’s not possible to regret nothing. Nothingness is just nothing. There is no such thing as regretting not doing something. My inaction is and an action in and of itself. Whether I acted by putting in the effort to think and decide not to do something, forced myself to not act in a way or walked away from acting on an impulse, I’m always regretting doing something whether I like it or not. Accepting this allowed me to move on from my false sense of reality and focus on what is important. That is – living life with regrets.
What now?
- Go back to our previous post and remind yourself that regrets are part of life.
- Follow our triple A method of how to deal with regrets.
- Let us know what you think, what you’re regretting and whether you had any success in dealing with it.