Answering the ultimate life question
Figuring out what you really want
So what?
The ultimate question in life that we all ask ourselves is “what do you want in life?” I’m not talking about vague wants such as “I want to be happy” or “I want to be rich”. What we are after is specific wants that will make your life joyful and enjoyable. Knowing these specifics will set yourself up to:
- Having clear goals and steps in achieving them which will lead to better results;
- Being more motivated to put in the time and effort to getting what you want;
- Improving your ability to identify opportunities as you have a clearer vision;
- Elevating sense of control as you will be able to dictate how you handle situations and challenges; and
- Being more flexible to adapt to different challenges and circumstances.
Below are simple and easy steps that you can take to find what you really want in life.
Unwanted
It seems counterproductive and counter-intuitive to think about what you don’t want in life but we are much better at predicting our unhappiness and what we don’t want compared to happiness and what we want. You will get it wrong if you ask yourself “what do I want in life”. Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers:
- What do you hate doing?
- What bothers and upsets you?
- Are there things you want to fix or change in your life?
- What are your pet peeves?
- What do you not enjoy about your job, career or business?
- What ticks you off during the day?
Experiences
Experiences leave lasting memories and impressions. Whilst ageing may reduce your ability to remember things, good and bad memories of life experiences stay with you. Reminiscing about your previous experiences will help you recall and connect to the things that you want and matter to you. Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers:
- What did you enjoy or hate doing and what do you remember the most while you were in:
- Primary school
- High school
- University
- Think back to a couple of previous holidays. What did you spend your time doing? Did you enjoy it or would you never do it again?
- Jot down any common themes and highlight recurring items.
Happy
Now comes the fun part. Have a look at the items you wrote down above and write down the things that are opposite or contrary. This will give you a clear idea about what you want in your life.
Ideal day
Here’s the part that is even better than the above. Imagine yourself waking up. Now, go through each minute and hour of your day and write down each thing that you would do during your ideal day. And no, I don’t want you to say “I would stay in bed all day”. Being a sloth is one of the cardinal sins and will ruin your life.
I would go as far as splitting up between a working day and non-working day. We all have to or should make a living even if you are a trust fund baby or a billionaire.
Congratulations. You have a list of your wants and what will make your life joyful and enjoyable.
My experience
When I was in high school, my goal was to work 100 hours a week, make millions, retire by 35 and spend my days at the beach. Whilst this proved to be extremely improbable, this turned out to be the complete opposite to what I wrote down when I did the above exercise in my 30s. Highlights of my ideal day include kissing my wife with a “good morning”, taking our kids to school, having flexible working hours, napping when I need to and having a healthy lifestyle and diet.
What now?
- Take 30 minutes out of your busy day and do the exercise I’ve described above.
- That’s all that I ask of you.