What to and not to expect from your parenting life
So what?
The benefits of setting realistic expectations whether you are currently a parent or looking to have kids include:
- Less yelling at the kids and feeling guilty;
- Getting them to listen;
- More mental capacity and physical energy; and
- Better relationship with your current or ex partner.
Recap of expectation and what it does
As I mentioned in our post about expectations, “expectations are what you believe will happen or to be. They dictate your feelings and emotions about your reality”. As with other relationships, you develop certain expectations about you as a parent and your kids even before they are born. Every waking moment with them are dictated by the expectations that constantly form and evolve.
Common expectations
Below are common expectations that you will have:
- You have to be a perfect parent;
- Comparing to other children; and
- Things will get easier.
As we discussed in our last post, you can’t get rid of expectations. Let’s see what you can do to manage them.
Simplicity is key
Here’s a simple way of managing expectations.
If you’re currently a parent, think about what’s working and continue doing it and what’s not working and stop doing it. For example, stop expecting yourself to be a perfect parent or have all the answers to your child’s endless questions because you won’t have all the answers to their curious minds.
If you’re looking to have kids, hope for the best, expect the worst. Hold onto your seat because it’s going to be a heck of a ride. There is much at stake that I will look to do a separate series on this in the future.
My experience
This is something that I struggle with every single day. Every night at dinner, I form an expectation that our kids will sit in their seat from start to finish. This expectation comes to a halt every night without fail. When this happens, I’ve come to train myself to immediately stop and smile as opposed to getting disappointed that they are not behaving as I initially expected.
What now?
If you’re currently a parent, continue what’s working and stop what’s not.
If you’re looking to have kids, hope for the best and expect the worst.