Are you happy?
Spoiler Alert: No one knows what makes us happy
So what?
Once you know what makes you unhappy, you will be on your way to:
- Being happier (obviously);
- Prioritising better;
- Having more energy;
- Having more “me” time; and
- Enjoying life.
What makes us happy?
Did you notice I said “unhappy” not “happy” above? I would love to tell you what makes you happy. It would make things easier and simpler. Sorry to break it to you but no one knows what makes us happy, happiness in its truest form as opposed to what makes you smile, satisfied amongst other short lived positive emotions. Those that claim to know are full of it.
The upside is that we know what makes you unhappy. You will be on your way to happiness when you reduce or eliminate these roadblocks in your life.
Being alone
We are social creatures whether you are an introvert like me or extrovert like my wife. You’re less unhappier when you are socialising. It’s about both quantity and quality of the socialisation that needs to take place in order for you to benefit from it. Next time you’re feeling alone, socialise at a level that you are comfortable with. All it could take is a 10 minute phone call to a friend or smiling and saying hello to a few people on your walk with your dog.
Expecting to be happy all the time
I hate to break it to you (again). Constant state of happiness is impossible. You will never be happy all the time. Get rid of the expectation gap for your sake and sanity.
The upside is that you will be happier than you are now when you accept this. Easy win. We all go through cycles of life. Seasonal cycles, hormonal changes, menstrual cycle, school semesters, cycles of life are everywhere. Your mind and body are inevitably bound to the same concept of cyclical changes. This is part of life.
You get a bad night’s sleep, you wake up groggy and unmotivated. Your child throws a tantrum out of nowhere, you become frustrated. Accepting and expecting this reality will get you closer to happiness than expecting to be happy all the time.
Not trying to be happier
Have I got you unmotivated or even frustrated by my first two point? Please don’t be because that will lead to you being unhappy. Lacking the investment of time and effort in trying to be happier will lead you to be unhappy. Don’t put off attempting to be happier for the reasons that you need to socialise or you can’t accomplish nirvana.
Start small and keep it stupid simple.
My experience
This one goes back to what I wrote about the expectation gap that I had with my wife. I expected my wife to be happy all the time because I was with her, next to her and happily married to her. I couldn’t understand, let alone, accept anything but the constant state of happiness. How selfish of me. Sorry for putting you through the turmoil! I can’t imagine how frustrating and exhausting it must have been for you.
What now?
How are you feeling right at this moment? Are you happy? Sad? Depressed? Whatever you’re feeling, recap on one of the three things you read above and see what small, simple steps you can take.