Finding the essence of everyday things
“The what it was to be” – Aristotle
So what?
As human beings, we complicate things. We do it by taking simple things, overthinking the hell out of it and turn them into much more than what they are. We all lose sight of the trueness, the essence of our very existence. Whether it be our interactions with those around us, life events or objects we buy, use, sell and store, everything becomes simple and quintessential when we go back to the basics and find their essence. Doing so, you will:
- Enjoy life for what it is;
- Reduce worry and anxiety by not overly complicating easy and simple things; and
- See the true nature of interactions, events and objects that are around you.
Definition
Essence is what exists and what it is. The dictionary definition of essence is “the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, that determines its character”. It is what makes a thing to be such which the thing would lose its identify without. Once the essence of something disappears or dissolves, it is no longer in existence and whatever it has transformed into becomes a different thing.
Importance
Essence of your interaction is the intention behind the interaction that is formed when you engage another being or object. In its purest form, the initial intention of why the interaction occurred in the first place. The interaction you intended disappears when you lose sight of the essence of your interaction. For example, say you go into work one day and you happily greet your boss and ask her how she is doing.
Your intention was to engage in a friendly and thoughtful manner and genuinely see how she is doing to see whether you can compassionately make her day better. In her response, she describes the horrible morning she is having because you forgot to turn in a report that she asked you to finish the day before. From her response, your interaction turned from positive to negative and hostile rather quickly. You become defensive and start to think of comebacks to respond with. When you do this, you have just lost the essence of the interaction by losing sight of your intention.
This applies to not just every interaction you have but all events and objects that you come across day to day. Losing sight of the trueness of these “things” is a sure fire way of complicating your life and turning the what it was to be to what it is not.
How to
The best way to find the essence of things in your life is to being present and practicing mindfulness. As for the example above, taking a pause to breathe and bring yourself down to earth will allow you to remember your intention of why you engaged with your boss in the first place. Yes, it is extremely hard at times to do just that but good things in life don’t come easy.
Every time you catch yourself complicating things, take a moment to breath and return to the presence. Allow yourself to remember and find the essence of the thing that you are complicating.
My experience
We recently celebrated our son’s 6th birthday by having a birthday party for him and his friends at the Arboretum and doing kite making. The party was on a Sunday and when we had looked at the forecast on that Monday it was forecasted to rain. Over the whole week, it was forecasted to rain and be cold. After several days of worrying and thinking of alternatives, we realised that we were complicating ourselves and worrying about what hadn’t even happened. We had lost sight of the essence of our son’s birthday party. Whether it rains or snows, the essence of the party was for us to celebrate his birthday. It wasn’t about the activities that we had planned or whether the weather was going to be perfect to fly kites. Once we had realised that, albeit a few days too late and wasted by worrying and stressing, we went back to the basics and simply looked forward to celebrating his birthday. And it turned out to be a perfect day for us to fly kites.
What now?
- What did you complicate in your life recently? How did it turn out? Were the complications that you created worth losing sight over?
- Next time you catch yourself complicating what is simple, take a moment to breath and remember its essence by bringing yourself back to presence.