Common pitfalls
of the “it could be worse” thinking
So what?
ICYMI – What does it mean when people say “it could be worse”? This phrase is used to give reassurance to a person going through challenging circumstances in their life. The intent is to remind the person that things could be worse even though they are aggregated and/or irritated.
In our previous post, we discussed the benefits of the thinking behind the phrase. We will explore the common pitfalls in this post.
Victimisation
Wikipedia defines victimisation, specifically self-victimisation, as “fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility”. This may happen when you say “it could be worse” to yourself. Things can be actually get worse depending on the severity of what you are going through. For example, let’s say you are being bullied at work and you think to yourself “it could be worse”. You are comforted that you are only being bullied twice a week because the person bullying you works part time. You think that you are not suffering the worst possible outcome but the situation is different to your reality whereby you shouldn’t be being bullied at all.
Undermining
Another common pitfall to thinking that “it could be worse” is you don’t deal with or face the issue because you are underestimating the situation you are in. You avoid the trauma and using a defence mechanism to help yourself by thinking in such a way. You begin to ignore and trivialise your suffering. You have to respect and recognise situations that you and those around you are going through. The situation that people are in may be causing real anguish and/or trauma.
My experience
As a father of 6 and 8 year olds, I’m very careful when in saying the phrase to our children. The reason for this is to make sure that I’m not undermining their feelings and emotions. Since their minds are inexperienced and still developing, what I say can and do impact them in different ways than when I’m talking to an adult. And this phrase is one of those things that can have devastating consequences if said to young children.
What now?
- Has thinking or saying “it could be worse” to yourself or those around you led to unintended consequences?
- Make sure to avoid the common pitfalls when applying such thinking or saying as such to your loved ones.